in these times, i wish i were a butterfly

8:57pm DAvao SUgar time
im hungry.
yet i dont wanna eat.
i wanna cry,.
i really wanna cry.
but shit man,have cried for these past few nyts.
im into a storm right now..
a lot of things i worry about,
i miss a lot of things
i miss a lot of people.
well i jus hope no damn person reads this now behind me.
im hungry.
i think im gonna have ulcer
darn joyce
gotta eat a little.
but my mind opposes.
dunno.
i have so much in my mind and heart for now.
it has almost reached saturation
i miss school
people and events in school makes me happy.
its really great to be in school tho andaming pressure.
whoaa... expect the worse this last year in colej joys.
tho i think im gettng ready
but its just so freakin tiring to have so many things in ur mind.
im just glad im not the suicidal type.
dont wanna use my friendster blog.
catches much attention.
naha..ive learned my lesson
ya know wat?
ive been into whining into that blog before.
it helped me a lot tho..
in releasing all the tension and stress i have.
as in,
im just that kind of person who, when angry or sad or onto any extreme feeling,
jus prefers to talk or write and express my feelings.\
whoaa.. ganyan ako.
mushy!
watevr.
dont care!
im hungry.
i wanna eat yet i wont!
this hasnt been an ordinary day.
i made a confession to 2 friends.
has been quite hard for me to do.
yet it has been a relief.
helped me somehow to lighten the burden that i carry in my heart for now.
well., theyre guys and im just amazed i was able to share a part of me with them.
ei, dont think dirty.
im serious here..
whoaaa... my mom's calling..
dont wanna answer it for now.
i still have about an hour to make yawyaw here.
mahaba-haba pa ang mababasa mo.

well ya, in these times,
i wish i were a butterfly.
i wanna fly away.
away from this thing that i feel..
this thing that ive been thinking about..
this situation that im into.
i feel so sunken
shit man.
i wish i were a butterfly,.
that i can go to another place..
to a garden so full of beautiful flowers..
that brings happiness and joy to my day
i wish that i can see new horizons
and see that this is not all there is.

wat do i do wen i get home.
i wana cry.
ya this is pathetic.
but i prefer it this way.
when im into this DOWN syndrome
i prefer to cry my heart out
so that after the rain i feel so fulfilled
victoriuos!
drama
ya drama joyz!
ya victorius cuz i still am able to witness and enjoy the next sunrise
tho i dont get to see it talaga..
well dont take this literally tho..
i wanna sleep
but i wanna talk with anybody,
aaahhh..
cge2 il go home nalang..
perhaps matet is home na..
or cyril.
well i jus hope hes not asleep yet.
havent talked with him for eons,
hmmmm.... im hungry.
damn it joys u eat..
but i dont want to
how ironic it seems for now
cuz usually when im super depressed
i eat a lot
and now, y cant i?
dunno.
perhaps im weird.
or just soo incomprehendible
is there such a term?
whoa..
cant catch the wednesday night live on the radio
thats just what im looking forward to for the week
great music e
a lav 8!
well anyway yawyaw nako diri..
i hope God doesnt answer that wish of mine
i dont wanna be a butterfly tho.
i just wish cud be
doesnt mean i wana be.

reminds me of this politician
PICHAY!
wwwwithhh his words:
PANGARAP KONG TUPARIN ANG PANGARAP MO!
just sooo freakin funny.
pangarap niya lang.
so mangarap ka ngunit wag umasa na tutuparin nia ang pangarap mo
kasi nga pangarap nia lang.
whoaa! hahahhhahah
what a clever ad!

summer sooo hot!

wow!
i just finished my first ojt.
a lot of things are running inside my head now.
ojt.
EAD.
weather.
tummy.
hungry.
hot.
hot.
hot.
shud i go home?
shud i not?
wow.
its my first tym to use SCB's pc.
at least i think so.
im sleepy.
ya sleepy head.
shud i call dccc?
and cancel my ojt plans there?
i think i shud.
as n. im sleepy.
n hungry.
shud i go home?
i dont want to.
but **********.
so its fine.
why is this happening?
well ive been doing a lot of thinking on this.
its hard to put everything in words.
i have a lot of things to do pa.
priorities.
yet somehow, still dont have that degree of discipline.
how on earth am i going to teach myself that?
cud that be purchased overnight?
installed in my system
perhaps even just for now?
well you see,
i have this observation of myself.
when im bombarded with soo many things,
i tend not to do any of it.
whoa!
weird.
ironic.
pathetic?
psyhotic?
ambot.
this morning i woke up soo freakin tired.
havent been used to waking up early.
its just this ojt time that i have to get up at dawn.
what can i do?
i have to.
wahhuhuhu..
pathetic spirits invading my sytem at the moment.
pwede anti-virus?
ge alng.
whoa..
i really have this lame idea.
id try to evade.
what day is it today?
tuesday.
i have week for EA stuff.
ya yu no.
obligations.
but dont worry.
i have my heart on it.
i wouldnt have run if i did not want to.
i live by my heart.
at least most of the time, i do.
hmmm.. shud i go home na?
what shud i be doing bah?
lemme check my list.
it says here:
call, inventory, etc.
ohh im soo freakin hungry.
be back in a few hours na lang.
gotta feed my hungry tummy.
ciao!
--11:54am Davao Sugar time

me

me?
wer wud i start?
wudnt it be tiring to begin with my past?
nor wud it be far fetched to talk about my future?
nahh..
then wer does that leave me?
now?
yea, perhaps.
just right now, i feel sentimental to realize how far i've gone already.
im living a life i never imagined, say, four years ago.
yea., well of course almost everybody does.
but, whatever. i do the talking here.. hhehe dis s my blog.
comment. if you want.
what am i into right now?
i am bored.
anxious somhow.
amazed of how life taught me maturity.
i know i have yet a mountain to climb.
im now holding the biggest responsibility ive had in my life.
i never thot id reach this point.
yet i just let God lead the way for me.
finding my personal legend does not fully depend on me.
i also have to have faith in Him.
after all as what the Alchemist said,.
the whole world conspires for me to achieve my personal legend.
im sleepy right now.
have been from samal.
just inhaled good air and fed my eyes good sceneries,
relaxed and swam under the heat of the raging sun.
oh why,
its sooo fulfilling to just reflect upon and enjoy the beauty of God's creation.